I’m going to be real with you a sec – I am so guilty of looking through the social media accounts of people I admire/want to be like and throwing an almighty strop because my life is not like that. Sometimes, I let the green eyed bitch inside me grab hold of the wheel and steers me towards “BUT I WORK HARD TOO, SO WHY DON’T I GET OPPORTUNITIES/FREE THINGS/INVITES/LIFE GOALS”. It’s a natural thing that we all do, don’t give me that face.
It can be really hard to drag yourself out of that funk to be honest – once you let the self-shame spiral take effect, it can be difficult to reverse it and remind yourself that actually, you really don’t have to compare yourself to others to find your own worth. It’s a lot like self-love and body positivity really – once you learn to appreciate yourself and your own magic, you can conquer anything. But how do you fight the jealousy demons?
- Take stock of what you’ve achieved
My biggest issue sometimes is getting too involved in what I wish I could have and I lose sight of all the things I have achieved. Yeah, I might want to get to having 10k followers on all my platforms, but this time last year, I had just under 300. And this year, I have 4200+ on Instagram and 3200+ on Twitter. Doing reviews for brands, having someone other than your mum or bestie read your blog, taking amazing photos are all things to be SO proud of. You are lapping people who just dream of blogging – you are already doing it!
- Give yourself achievable goals
One of the worst things to do is to be unrealistic with yourself. We can all aim for the stars, but ultimately there is a lot of smaller stuff that needs to be achieved first like, you know, writing a blog post or sending some tweets out or making the most of Instagram…. I find it really helpful to put into perspective what I want to achieve on a monthly basis. I set out how many blog posts I’d like to write, when I would like to post on social media, what platforms I want to focus on and what topics I want to write about. If I achieve them, YAY! If I don’t achieve them, then I have a whole bunch of things to work on for the following month. THERE ARE NO RULES when it comes to blogging – just do what you feel is best!
- Remember why you started
It is so easy to get lost in what everyone else is doing that you lose sight of why you started in the first place. I started blogging because I wanted to be an inspiration to other women who had a body like me. A bunch of other stuff has happened (thankfully!) that means I get to review things, work with brands and people that I have loved since I was just getting into fashion, I have had opportunities I would never have had before – but I still need to remember my original mission statement. Am I still achieving what I set out to achieve?
- Stop watching other people
I read a quote on Twitter the other day that said “Stop comparing your full film to someone else’s highlight reel” and I’ll be honest, it’s like someone slapped me with a cod. A big, sweaty cod. Because that’s just it, isn’t it? Everyone posts the best version of themselves online – what you don’t see is the sweat they dropped to get there or the myriad of “no’s” they got before they got that particular “yes”. You also don’t see the anxiety that person has, or the mental turmoil that they might be experiencing. I’m often told people wish they had my confidence or positivity but I have anxiety and a chronic illness – I’m not bouncy and happy-go-lucky all the time, but I’m challenging myself to be more so. The journey can be hard sometimes, and often you might wonder why you are doing what you’re doing. We all feel that way at some point so trust that – what matters is what you do with that feeling.
- Don’t be afraid to ask for help.
I am ridiculously stubborn. Sometimes, I sabotage myself because I feel I should be able to do something and that I am capable of doing something when really, I could do with a few words of encouragement or a little bit of help here and there. You are not a failure if you reach out for help. In fact, you’re stronger than most to admit it to yourself and actively seek the help. I’m lucky in that people I admire are also people I can rely on for some help from time to time, so I can bounce ideas off them – don’t be afraid to do the same with people you admire too. Reach out to them and ask if they mind you asking them a question. If they have the time, they will respond and help 9/10 times. We might all be in competition with each other, but we’re also super supportive, and most people will feel flattered that you hold them in that regard that you want to have help from them!
Ultimately, what I’m trying to say here (albeit slightly imperfectly) is that if you have started a blog already, you are doing amazingly well. If you haven’t started yet, you’re still doing amazingly well because you’re thinking about it. We’re all on journeys – some of them are harder than others and see more obstacles, some of them are smoother, some of them appear smooth but are actually super bumpy – and you really just have to trust the process. Don’t be afraid to ask for help, don’t worry if you haven’t done a blog post in a while, don’t worry if you didn’t reach the number of views you were hoping for – blogging happens in peaks and troughs, it’s all part of the process. Trust the process, trust yourself and keep on keeping on. There’s space for us all and we all have new things to bring to the table.