Becoming A Sex Goddess – A Guide On Giving a F**k

Becoming A Sex Goddess – A Guide On Giving a F**k

***I’m going to talk to you about a pretty “taboo” subject now so if you are here for fashion advice or inspiration, you can find my latest fashion posts here! This post will talk frankly about sex and includes photos of every day women in their underwear. If you are offended by comments of a sexual nature or you don’t want to see hot babes in lingerie, pop yourself over to this post about my latest adventure at British Summer Time!***

As a fat woman in a relationship, I have managed to get through all of those first date nerves, first kiss nerves, first shag nerves… you name it, I’ve felt it. I don’t think of myself as some kind of sexpert, but I do feel I know enough about how it feels to be a fat girl just about to take the plunge and show someone my foof for the first time when you aren’t feeling so hot about your body.

Here’s the scenario – you’re out on a date, it’s gone really really well and you’re considering doing the no-pants-dance with the person you’re seeing for the first time. But suddenly doubt begins to flood your mind about how your body is going to look to your (potential) significant other – will he like my chub? Will he notice my cellulite? I forgot to shave my fanny/legs/stomach/beard!

We can all get into a bit of a tizz when it comes to getting our clothes off for the first time, no matter what size you are! Here’s a few nuggets of cold, hard truth to get you through the doubt monsters. As an ambassador for The Body Confidence Revolution, I believe that women should feel sexy and celebrate their bodies. I’ve also included some pictures of hot women in their underwear to show you that you can be a hot piece of ass at any size! Just click on the picture of the girl you want to know more about and you’ll find their social media or blog addresses 🙂

  • You’ve already snagged yourself a partner, remember that

Chances are if you are out on a date with a person, they already like the look of you. They’ve probably already thought about what you’ll look like naked. In fact, they’ve probably already had a bit of “afternoon delight” with themselves over thoughts of bumping uglies with you. This person already thinks you’re hot. You are already winning the race of getting yourself in a romantic scenario and this is the final hurdle to relationshipsville – population: you. If you’re worrying about what this person might think of you without clothes on, I promise you the best thing you can do is just act like the sex kitten you were born to be. Once you get the green light from your partner (REMEMBER – CONSENT IS SEXY), take control. If you want to kiss them, kiss them. If you want to feel their chest, feel their chest. As long as your sexual partner is willing and has said yes, you can just go for it. Believe me, they are probably feeling just as nervous as you so if you take control, you’ll make them feel sexy as hell and in turn, you’ll also feel sexy as hell watching them get turned on!

  • They will be too interested in getting you off to notice the miniscule things you think are flaws

Going back to point number 1, you’ve already snagged the person – they will now have their eyes on the prize, and their one and only goal will be to make you feel incredible. They will not notice that you forgot to shave. They won’t notice your cellulite. They won’t notice that you’re wearing giant knickers. And even if by some miracle they do notice something like that, they will be so preoccupied with wondering what you feel like/taste like/sound like that it won’t be an issue. Just laugh it off…or shove a ball gag in their mouth, whatever you’re into.

  • If in doubt, SEXY LINGERIE

If there is anything that gets me in the mood, it’s putting on some hot black lacy underwear. I love the feel of something sexy hiding under my clothes like a gift waiting to be unwrapped. In fact, once I was so nervous about sleeping with someone, I asked them to give me a few moments and then slipped into the sexiest item of lingerie I owned and all of a sudden, I was transformed into a complete sex goddess. If you wear something that makes you feel a million dollars, that confidence will radiate out of you and you will become irresistible.

  • Don’t let what you think about your body hold you back

Seriously now, this is such a broad statement to make, but what I mean here is… well there’s just no subtle way to say this so I am just going to go in hard (lol). If you want to go on top because that’s the position that gets you off the most, climb on top of that person and go for it. If you want to sit on a person’s face, just do it. They will find a way to breathe. They’ll probably enjoy the hell out of it. If you move your body with faux confidence even when you are feeling self-conscious, you will not only fool them into thinking you are a sexual demon, but you’ll also start to feel it yourself. And let’s be honest, being on top is ace because you get to see their faces when you do your thing really well if you SEE WHAT I’M SAYING. Nudge nudge, wink wink…

  • You’re probably both worrying about how good you’ll be

Let’s face it – unless you are an actual porn star (and sometimes even when you ARE an actual porn star) you probably have some doubts around your skills in the bedroom department on that first night of passion. What if they don’t like their nipples being touched? What if they don’t manage to make me climax? WHAT IF THEY DON’T KNOW WHAT THEY’RE DOING EITHER?! Well, I am here to tell you that it is FUN finding out what people like and don’t like. Communication is key – if you aren’t feeling the way they are touching you, guide their hand towards where you’d prefer them to touch you or if you’re feeling extra filthy, just show them how you touch yourself… If you’re already connected mentally, the physical stuff will follow suit and if it doesn’t? Talk about it. And if you still can’t get it right, you can always introduce a few toys into the bedroom a little further down the line eh?

So what are you waiting for? Throw caution to the wind, wrap your arms around your lover and go to town on them. You ARE the sexual goddess you always wished you were when you just let go and get freaky! 

Big big BIG thank you to the girls who sent me their photos – you are all rock star sex goddesses and you all look incredible! Thank you for being a part of the revolution <3


  1. July 25, 2016 / 2:08 pm

    What a great article, I totally agree, people can be sexy regardless of their size. As a larger girl myself I find the first date situation harder than the thought about having sex with someone because of the judgements people make about me when I might look different to how they think x

  2. July 25, 2016 / 2:41 pm

    I think all these ladies rocked their underwear. You can be thin and have no body confidence. In the bedroom communication is key as you say.

  3. July 25, 2016 / 3:18 pm

    I absolutely bloody love this post and bloody love you!! Thanks for using me in it too xx

  4. July 25, 2016 / 5:25 pm

    I don’t even know where to begin, I love absolutely everything about this post! So many babes too!

  5. cattitudeandco
    July 25, 2016 / 5:27 pm

    I don’t even know where to begin with this post, I love it so much! So many babes too!

  6. July 25, 2016 / 7:36 pm

    I love this, what a fab selection of HOT ladies all in one place!
    I’ve always figured that when it comes to sex, men have more to worry about than my wobbly bits, haha! 🙂 It can be nerve-wracking but if a man has got as far as getting me naked, like you say, he clearly already finds me attractive.

    Jess xo

  7. July 25, 2016 / 8:55 pm

    I fucking love this post so much! You’ve got everything down to a tee! I remember in the early days of seeing someone, I’d be terrified of the idea of taking my clothes off. I wish I had found this post like 3 years earlier! ♥

    Also, what a gorgeous bunch of girls!

  8. July 25, 2016 / 9:07 pm

    Oh I love this post – absolutely agree! Body confidence is everything in life, and if in doubt “fake it till you make it” applies to body confidence – don’t feel sexy? Pretend you do! Great post x

  9. July 25, 2016 / 9:21 pm

    Body confidence is everything and this post is just brilliant for showing that x

  10. July 25, 2016 / 9:22 pm

    I wish I was brave as you, you all look amazing and your right we are so preoccupied with the way we look when in reality all they want to do is have sex. I have been writing more about sex and how empowering it is, I think it is definitely important to raise awareness of.

  11. July 26, 2016 / 1:11 am

    I’ve been waiting for someone to write a post about this very subject! Thank you Lottie x

  12. July 26, 2016 / 8:28 am

    A very empowering post! I too suffer serious body confidence issues that I want to get over.

  13. July 26, 2016 / 9:15 pm

    Yes! Such an important post. I was terrified the first time my husband saw me naked, way back before we were married, because I knew he’d only ever dated petite women before, super short and thin, so I was totally the opposite. But when it came down to it, I realised he wanted me already, and your clothes only hide some things, not your actual body shape, so I went for it and here we are! Brilliant post Lottie <3 plus, so many babes!

  14. Anca
    July 28, 2016 / 1:21 pm

    I think body confidence has nothing to do with size. Your post is really empowering. x

  15. August 5, 2016 / 2:42 pm

    AWESOME POST! I really mean that, for someone who has struggled with her weight and self confidence for a while now, it was lovely to read.
    I lost ALOT og weight and it felt nice to be slimmer, but it just pilled back on, I just dont think i am meant to be a slim woman, my genes dont work that way.
    Well done you and I am hoping to try and get some of your confidence.

  16. August 10, 2016 / 4:34 pm

    Love your post, you are giving inspiration to others,, thumbs up

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