Other Women Are Not The Enemy

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Today on social media, I have seen nothing but women being slut-shamed. Not only by men who view women as nothing more than pleasure bots for their own carnal misbehavings, but also by other women. Girls – we are so, so much better than this. Off the back of my positivity injection yesterday with the International Women’s Day post, I’m afraid I need to address the other side of the ugly truth – that women are our own worst enemies.

For example – “In a world full of Kardashians, be a (insert name of someone who isn’t a Kardashian)”… oh god, do not get me started (it’s too late, I already am). This post is going to be ranty because, quite frankly, I have had it up to the eyeballs with this absolute ridiculous shit.

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Part of our journey as women is to accept and appreciate the hustle of other women. What might be an incredibly empowering action for you might be the exact opposite for another. I’ve lost count of the amount of times I have had to explain why wearing the Hijab is not oppressive just as many times as having to explain that Kim Kardashian’s choice to take a naked selfie is not a reflection of her abilities as a mother.

The way that a woman presents herself is not a social construct. There is no right or wrong way to be. No right or wrong way to show your strength, to inspire, to fall in love, to create. By putting women against each other in this kind of a fashion, you’re making it okay for others to do the same. You’re teaching your children that if a woman shows her flesh, she is easy. You’re teaching them to pity women for covering up. You’re enforcing the notion that a woman can only be valued on the appearance she presents to the world and that is not okay.

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If you see me strip off, believe that I am doing this as a position of power. If you see me reading a book and bettering myself academically, believe that this is also a position of power. My flesh does not make me any less of a person, just as my decision to cover up makes me no more of a person. Girl, you don’t have to like what I’m doing, you don’t even have to support me, but you do need to recognize that the way a woman presents herself on any given day is just that – a way that she has decided to present herself.

My favourite powerful women are Kim Kardashian, Frida Kahlo, Debbie Harry and Dita Von Teese. All for very different, but very valid reasons. Frida is not better than Kim. Debbie no better than Dita. They are all inspirational to me because I see their passion and their drive, their determination and compassion and all of that inspires me to be the same.

Life would be so much easier if we all just stopped telling each other that we’re wrong.

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Plus-size, body positive, feminist, lesbian - ME. Lives in London, has a Nottingham heart.

7 thoughts on “Other Women Are Not The Enemy

  1. SUCH an important post. I see this all over, and I will admit that I sometimes ‘like’ those memes and stuff, and then I see a post like this and I give myself a metaphorical slap for propagating that bs that women are only valuable if they are considered beautiful & present themselves a certain way.

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  2. Fabulous post! I have a confession, I actually ‘liked’ that meme with Princess Diana at the time, but you’ve really made me think and shown me the meme in a totally different light to what I had once thought. In my mind my intentions were to encourage women to be different but that meme really isn’t saying that. Thank you giving me something to think about and highlighting the importance of stopping and thinking before idolling ‘liking’ an image! It is also such an important post, I think if everyone put the time and effort they spend belittling other women, we could all be so much more. Maybe one day.

    Lyndsay | Fizzy Peaches Travel and Lifestyle Blog

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  3. I definitely agree with a previous commenter; this post was really important. I know I find myself judging other women for things like this. Reading this post puts it into perspective. ALL women ARE beautiful, even if they choose to present themselves differently than I would.

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