Princess Lottie and the Bra – Chapter One

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***This post is a little bit NSFW – it contains pictures of me in my bra a lot (and a fair bit of nip), and it has an infographic that I made which has two sets of three circles that look like boobs and nips. Don’t read this when your boss is about!***

Every girl has one rites of passage that they go through – the fitting of a bra. Whether you’ve got voluptuous full boobies or perfectly pert bee stings, every girl has gone through the utter horror of a bra fitting. After following the journey of Tanya from Secret Plus Size Goddess for her perfect bra, I’m now going to share with you my quest for the best over the shoulder boulder holder. (Maybe I should start by not calling it an over the shoulder boulder holder)

Throughout my life, I have struggled with my wabs. I’ve been measured by many a person and told many a different size. I’ve worn full cup, half cup, balconette, plunge, underwired, soft cup, padded… Well anyway you get the picture. You name it, I’ve housed my chebbs in it! And now, at the grand old age of 29, I am no closer to my perfect size… And that’s no longer something that I’m willing to put up with. My tatty-bo-jangles deserve more than being crammed into too tight bras or peaking out under loose cups!

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I’ve been told I am anywhere from a 38F to a 42K from various different places. Some that measure just by sight, some that get hands on, some that whack out a tape measure and do their sums. No matter what, the outcome is almost always different – and I’m utterly clueless as a result. This is a reality for so many women today and with more and more bra companies catering for the larger busted woman, it’s time we got our numbers straight.

Most recently, I was measured (and I say measured because this was a measuring tape and number crunching fit) as a 40GG. I don’t believe this for a second. I know now from following babes such as Kathryn from Miss Kathryn’s MissTakes and Georgina Horne from Fuller Figure Fuller Bust that the brand and style of bra can wildly differ someone’s size. What better to do than order several bras in that size from several different companies to see how they look?

So, here is what a 40GG looks like on me from worst fitting, to…well…marginally better fitting. Please note: these bras look terrible because they are the wrong size, not because the bras are terrible. Please do check out all of the brands below because they are AWESOME. A scoop and swoop (as mentioned HERE) was performed each time I put a bra on to ensure maximum breast support:

 This is a Curvy Kate half cup bra that’s actually a 40G (they didn’t have a GG at the time I ordered!) this does absolutely nothing for my breasticles. Although the straps are on their tightest, the band is too large and offers no support and the cups are too small. What you can’t see here is the fact that the underwiring is digging in to the outer part of my boob.

This is an Elomi full cup bra. Notice how the central gore (middley bit) sits on top of my boobs rather than my chest? That’s because those cups are too smaaaaall and the back on this again is just too large. My boobs are literally just sitting on my chest as they would if they were not in a bra.


This is a Sculptress by Panache full cup bra – we appear to be getting slightly better in terms of fit. The cup size is still far too small (check out that central gore, bro) but my boobs do look slightly perkier. The back on this felt tighter than the previous two, which has something to do with it. But this is still MILES off.


So this is another Sculptress by Panache bra, this time in a balconette style. HURRAH! The central gore is finally sitting flush to my chest, but alas, the cups are still faaaar too small. I’m being prodded all over the place by underwiring and I feel that one false move would send my boobs either shooting out the bottom of my bra or flying out of the top!

So, what is a girl to do?! I tried many different styles and many different brands according to the most scientific method of measuring me into a bra and I have come up with absolutely zilch amount of bra that fully encapsulates my bazoomas. Well, I did what every girl does… Ask her friends to stare at her tits and guess the right size!

One friend in particular is the guru of boobs. Kathryn has correctly sized many people I have come across during my blogging life and I wanted to be the next one. I took several photos of me in bad bra number 2 from many different angles and sent them over to her. Now apart from telling me off for wearing such incredibly bad fitting underwear (soz SuperKaupa) she completely startled me with what she thought I was. She measured me… Ladies and gentleman… As a 38HH. A HH. 38. That’s a back size down and TWO cup sizes up.

So, I ordered my first bra in my new size. And in hindsight, it should have been a much more sensible bra but whatever I digress. I got excited and bought the sexiest bra I could find and ended up with a Scantilly by Curvy Kate bra. Now I have admired this range from afar for a while thinking I couldn’t wear it thanks to my giant back, but now it was firmly within my reach I went for the filthiest one I could find. Probably should have been more… vanilla…. about it.


This is a barely there bra. It is (what feels like) a quarter cup bra, with super awesome harness straps that come around the top of my boobs. But my entire boob FITS INSIDE THE CUP. There is no stabbing. My central gore sits flush to my skin (this is a bad photo and you can’t tell) and my boobs feel slightly more elevated than before. They look rounder. But alas, the super awesome harness strap bit is loose on my upper boob and my left boob still wants to spill out of its quarter cup slightly… But I feel closer to what I should be.

For the first time in a long time, I don’t want to murder someone with a combination of strangulation via bra straps and stab wounds via broken underwiring! Imagine if I chose a more sensible bra in this size – would I be looking at a new, more elevated me? Would this be the start of the beginning?

This is a very interesting development in the world of boobs for me. Next time, I’ll be showing you what happened next when I put in an order for more sensible bras…

Stay tuned for the THRILLING conclusion!

 

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Plus-size, body positive, feminist, lesbian - ME. Lives in London, has a Nottingham heart.

5 thoughts on “Princess Lottie and the Bra – Chapter One

  1. I always have a nightmare picking bras – if I’m not going anywhere special I just wear a vest and, as my OH so charmingly calls it, free boob. That Panache one is really pretty (for all the pain it’s causing!) and I love the last one. The little frill along the top of the cup makes it. Finally, Tatty-bo-jangles is my new favourite word! 🙂

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  2. *raises hand* I have never been for a bra fitting… :/

    I keep telling myself I am going to, and then… However, I played around with my size/different bras, a bit like you, and found a size that fits great (in most bras). Again,as you know it’s not a perfect science.

    I absolutely love this post, and your willing to get your [insert any of the one million different words that you used for boobies in this post, some I had never heard, and will definitely be using in the future 😉 ] out, and show us what it’s all about.

    Thanks for sharing, sexy lady ❤

    samrosey. XO

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  3. Love the honesty and critical thinking in the post. On bra facts: Triumph ran a survey which showed 57% of UK women are D and up cup size. Ms Pomelo Bras.

    Like

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