I am a very sexual person. I’m in tune with my inner sex goddess and, as I demonstrated in this post about sex as a fat person, I don’t shy away from writing and talking about all things sex related. I love a good, frank and safe discussion about the naughty stuff, so when Scarlet Ladies got in touch to invite me down to one of their amazing events in London, I was there like a cat on catnip!
I was invited to their Females Fess Up event – a talk with 4 female experts hosted by the imitable Alix Fox, renowned sex-pert for The Guardian and all-round babe. I have been a huge fan of Alix’s work for a while and being a fierce feminist, being able to come to an all-female panel and talk frankly about sex and bodies in a safe environment was such a draw for me. I had an absolute whale of a time – it was so eye-opening and just refreshing to be around such open people!
So here’s my highlights from the night and why YOU, dear reader, should come to their next event!
So, funny story, I went to this event completely on my own. I knew no one there (other than the beautiful Tara from Catstello And Co, but we had only chatted online!), so when I got in the incredible venue, I just plonked myself down at a table. Turns out, I had sat myself down at the table of panelists that were getting briefed on the night – awkwaaard! I was made to feel very welcome by the wonderful sex and relationships journalist Franki Cookney, tantric sex guru Catherine Dunworth, transwoman and professional kinkster Alyssa Black, and one half of the Scarlet Ladies herself Janette Davies. This diverse and friendly group of women were open, honest and pulled no punches when they were up on the stage. It felt like a chat with old friends – old friends that happened to be polyamorous, into kink and filmed for a Channel 4 series on orgasms! I particularly enjoyed hearing from Alyssa – her anecdotes on sex and kink were really interesting and it was clear that her, along with the other panelists, were hugely invested in making the event an open space for people to discuss exactly what they wanted to.
The venue itself was a gastropub type venue near St Pauls. We were downstairs in an incredible private room decorated in latin inspired art including a kick ass portrait of Frida Khalo which seemed to fit right in with the theme of the night! It’s a small room, so felt a tiny bit cramped for a plus size girl such as I, but it didn’t feel overwhelming or worrying. Instead it was a real welcoming, house-party kind of vibe with tables, chairs and our own private bar serving drinks all night. One word of warning – there are steps down to the venue and I can’t remember seeing a lift so it may not be suitable for those who can’t walk down stairs.
The Topics of Discussion
To warm us up, we played two truths and a lie which was fun – the girls on the panel gave us some racey truths that were so good we couldn’t figure out the lie! That kind of set the tone for the night and we went on to discuss lots of things from Tantric sex and the wonders of a Tantric Massage (that panelist Janette swears is an incredible thing!) to sex education in schools and the need to talk about sex as a pleasurable act, not just a reproductive act. The most interesting topic of conversation to me was around porn and how much porn is too much porn. We got into the depths of different kinds of porn including interactive porn – choose-your-own-adventure style – and virtual reality porn, and whether the ladies felt that porn took their partner’s attentions away from them or made their relationships better! It was a real relaxed, anything goes kind of atmosphere and I felt comfortable enough to pipe up when the conversation turned into one about loss of sex drive. It was really good to ask questions and get involved, but you could equally sit and just enjoy the night and listen to others – there was no pressure to have to talk at all.
Each place at the tables had a really cute goodie box (yes box, not bag!) thanks to SH:24 that were filled with condoms, lube, chocolate and a cute sample bottle of smellies – each one was different and I got a lovely Elemis bath lotion! But that wasn’t where it ended – if you were brave enough to write down a sex secret, you could be in with a chance of winning a Doxy vibrator! It was brilliant, I wrote a couple of sexy secrets down but unfortunately I wasn’t a winner. The Doxy came up in conversation a lot during the night too which was fun to listen to other people’s experiences with it!
All in all the night was incredible. I loved it so much that I’m actually going to be speaking in next month’s Scarlet Ladies Talk panel on Body Positive Sex! So if you fancy coming along, you can buy your tickets here or join the Scarlet Ladies monthly membership to get free entry to their events. I can’t wait for the next panel, and I’d love to see you all there!
***I was given tickets in return for this review, but as with all of my posts, my opinions and experiences of the night were my own!***